help me to be alone, for I only know its silence

help me to be alone, for I only know its silence
I have not heard its singing, its foreign voices cry
and form a mute choir for my history.
filled with other voices, held by others’ choices
knowing only rules laid down for me while I slept.

it is such a painful waking, to come from this sleep
I wipe aching cobwebs from my eyes
and slowly trust my crusty vision: to see from sleep,
my dreams are over,
my dreams are over,
and this living is something I scarcely grasp
but with stretching hands seek surely.

i reach for myself, a painful embrace
at first contact with each new knowing,
brimful with joy at discovery,
o, amazing pain, this amazing pain,
at being alone, being adrift without
other parents.
there are so many other parents
and i feel like a child on the fearful brink
of a shining day, proud with discovery.