with apologies to Ogden Nash
It’s rarely that I choose to find
A field that so upsets my mind
or one that sorely baffles me:
PV=nRT.
I swore I’d never undergo
These mental agonies and throes;
This bleak confusion now in me
From studying my Chemistry.
The Chemist seems a complex sort
“Symbol-minded,” he’ll retort’
Among the test tubes, to and fro
His oft-elusive logic goes.
I try to follow his quantum leaps;
His quantum jumps. My quantum creeps.
Seduced I am by Chemists’ tricks,
I try to make the visions stick
Of subshells that appeared to me
Aligned on axes xyz.
I would be sated just to glimpse
A molecule while in the midst
Of swapping charges, changing spins,
My hair and patience growing thin.
But perseverance is rewarded!
Illusions cleared! Illogic thwarted!
Salvation mine, I would not spurn
A Periodic Table’s turn.
I have my faith; I must, you see
While grappling with Chemistry.
A almost understood the ion.
But not enough. And now I’m dyin’.
Stephen Bolles
All rights reserved
11/5/80